providing resources for your spiritual and personal development
Life Partner Lowdown - Three Things You Must Know When Finding Your Life Partner - by Sasha LeBaron
First Date Flutters
Imagine this for a moment, you have met this great potential life partner at your friend's BBQ the other day, you chatted for what seemed like a few minutes at the party and then noticed the whole afternoon had slipped by, the sparks were flying and now you have been invited to choose the activity for your first date! Do you know the best things to do and say to practically guarantee that there is another great date after the first one? No? Well read on ...
In a study published in 2002, anthropologist Helen Fisher PhD of Rutgers University revealed that the feelings created by exercise, surprise and adrenaline are very similar to those that are produced when we fall in love. Use this to your advantage on your quest for a life partner by skipping the candlelight dinner and going skiing, roller-blading, or to a mildly scary movie or best of all, an extreme roller coaster. All these activities will get the blood flowing and stimulate the feel good neurotransmitter called dopamine.
Trust Your Nose
In another groundbreaking study, Barbara Sommerville and David Gee of the University of Leeds showed that smell or more specifically pheromones below the level of conscious awareness, contribute significantly to our feelings of attraction, desire and even our genetic compatibility!
So when your prospective life partner comes by after moderate exercise give them a sniff! Don't be obvious about it but check in with your nose. Remember if they are wearing artificial scents or laundry products that are scented this won't work as well, if at all. If your potential life partner smells great, then go for it! You and he or she are a good match genetically, at least! If Mr or Ms life partner to be's shirt just smells yucky then before you dump this potential life partner find out about stress, health conditions or simply food choices. All of the former can and will effect changes in body chemistry and thus smell. Lastly if your life partner to be's scent reminds you of a family member watch out because this can be a sign of a close genetic match and a higher likelihood of genetic concerns for a future child.
None of the previous life partner scent tests are by any means empirical proof of a good genetic match but they are valuable indicators that, paired with common sense and or genetic counseling (if the relationship takes off) can give valuable insight into the "rightness" of a potential life partner.
Brain Chemistry 101
When the sparks are flying with your future life partner your brain starts producing neurotransmitters in great quantities. First (for many people anyway) comes desire or lust with its attendant rise in androgens and estrogens both of which are connected to sexual arousal and gratification. Second as love grows dopamine and norepinephrine levels shoot up increasing feelings of euphoria, excitement and romance. However serotonin, a hormone responsible for positive feelings tends to decline when we fall madly in love which can in some cases trigger feelings of depression if we lose a lover. Third and most important in the life partner relationship is oxytocin and vasopressin the hormones responsible for long term love and peaceful stability after the sometimes stormy seas of early romantic love.Okay So How Do I Use This With My Life Partner?
Because there are three distinct sets of neurotransmitters active during different phases of courtship with your life partner use them to your advantage. Early on in the relationship game, excitement, adrenaline, novel experiences or even a scary movie can lead to heightened sexual arousal. If you look into your prospective life partner's eyes and share personal details this creates enhanced levels of love building brain chemicals and by doing both you can almost bewitch your partner. Then as the relationship matures and grows build feelings of connection and peace through massage, making love, meditating together and other relaxing peaceful love builders.
There you have it. Better living through chemistry! Brain chemistry in this case, but when it comes to finding your perfect life partner don't leave it to chance. Use every tool you have to increase your chances of attracting, meeting, dating and creating a great relationship with your very own perfect life partner.
Sasha LeBaron is a retired fire fighter, coach and author of two books as well as many articles on the specific techniques and tools involved with finding your perfect life partner. He lives in the gulf islands of BC, Canada with his perfect life partner and a large fluffy cat. Learn how you can find your perfect life partner in as little as ten minutes per day. Click here